Pray More Over Your Marriage Than You Talk About It

In my previous posts about marriage is dwelt  on words: "What to say and not to say to or about our husbands and marriages." Now I amstill on words but this time are not on what to say or not say but we are focusing on what we should do more than say.

We are to  "Determine to pray more words over our marriages than speak about our marriages." How many of us are doing that? Some of us might not be guilty of speaking bad but could either be continuously going on about our marriages or husbands to our friends, colleagues, families and even social media which could create envy and jealousy from some. Or some could always be discussing their marriage "issues" with their husbands.

Choose to be wise by praying more than speaking more. For every word you speak about your marriage, pray maybe about ten or more words over it. Daily when I speak to God in prayer I thank Him for the things my husband is and does, I even  thank Him for what I trust God my husband is becoming instead of continuously going back to Him with the same request. I already speak those things that he is not yet as though he is and believe me he becomes as I pray. Whatever we struggle in I speak as it is successful in prayer. For example, if intimacy or lovemaking dwindles,  I charge up our marriage by speaking what I want to happen.

I am sharing about what I do to show you it works. Words and prayer have been the determining factor in our marriage. My husband and I chose to speak, pray and agree on the things our marriage will never become  before we even got married. Till today in the years we've been married we have not experienced them because we continue to pray more over our marriage, speak into our marriage than speak about it to others.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 _"Pray continuously."_

CAN LOVE SURVIVE IF THE ONE WHO LOVES LACKS WISDOM?

Let me first use world quotes:

As the famous saying *"Wisdom is key"* marrying someone who has no wisdom at all or you having not attained wisdom will be a slow suicide. When they say marriage is not for kids they do not refer to age but wisdom and understanding.
Anyone can fall in love. Our 4 year old son falls in love with his different toys daily. He has declared his love for his friends.
How many times have you fallen in love and every time you encountered something you didn't like you fell out of love? I fell in love many times (I even used to write love poems. LOL! ) and always thought it would blossom into marriage. Until I was older and wiser.

Coming to God’s Word

How do we attain wisdom? From God (James 1:5 "
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.)
One needs to really have a tight relationship with God in order to get  wisdom and all things he needs to prosper in. (Jeremiah 33:3 " Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not." and Joshua 1:8). This also where " _Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain._" Ps 127:1 comes in.

Think about the Garden of Eden. Adam was all alone with God before God created him a mate. He was tight buddies with God and it is from Him where he learnt to take care of the world.
Then when God created Eve He put Adam to sleep so He could  have a one on one with this beautiful creation called woman.

So ladies and gentleman embrace this temporary loneliness and serve God to your outmost possibility.
Ask Him for the wisdom and understanding. Which is what makes Ephesians 5:22-33 a second nature instead of an effort or expectation once one is married.

If love is the motivation to marriage without wisdom how will one understand or know how to love as 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 states?
Yes we are physical beings and are first attracted to what we see but that's not what makes us agree to life together forever in holy matrimony. Blessed are we that we have learnt to keep our clothes on and hands to ourselves until we are declared by a pastor as husband and wife. Therefore we are safe from eros love or lust-motivated marriages. Eiiiii.... this is the most *stupidifying*(own word) thing in the world. The greatest men of God have fallen by it as you can see wisdom had left the buildings at that time.

ARISE FOR YOUR TIME HAS ARRIVED! by Faith Monchusi (as God spoke)

I wrote this in June 2012 on Facebook.

I was just reading the book of Isaiah 60 and I went back to Isaiah 60:1-2 and the Lord gave me these words which He wants you to receive as well:

The Lord is faithful. He never just speaks but what He speaks comes to pass. He said you are the light of the world(Mat 5:14). When you trust in the Lord, surrender your life to Him and do His will He shall shine upon you. You have been in darkness until you drew closer to God's light.

The world is covered in darkness, gloom, sadness, sorrow and sin but you who are made perfect by God, you who is a broken vessel renewed by God, you who have been cleansed by the blood of the Lamb, arise! Lift up your head and walk tall for all to see His glory is upon you.

Your time has come to reap what you sowed. Your tears have turned to joy. Your time has come to live like a king for you are seated with Christ. Arise! No one cannot see you for you shine of His glory in you. All are drawn to you because of Him shining through you.

Favour draws the blessings, the prosperity in everything, the abundance of wealth, fruitfulness! All your desires are fulfilled. Arise and shine but do not forget the light is not for you alone but for you to light up the darkness in the world, open their eyes and let them draw to His ever-shining light!

Arise for He has answered you prayers for it is morning, a new day, fresh anointing, eternal blessings, opened floodgates of heaven. No more crying, no more pain, no more worries, no more debts, no more sickness, no more lack for the Lord has come and see He has prepared your table in the presence of your enemies(Ps 23:5). Invite them too so they may know the Lord your serve is a forgiving Father.

Rejoice always! Arise! The light is upon you! Keep your head up and your eyes fixed on Him and shine for all to see the glory of the Lord!

Arise my brothers and sisters!
Arise you who are the Light of the world!



Isaiah 60:1-2 " 1 Arise, shine, for your light has come,and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.2 See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples,but the LORD rises upon you and his glory appears over you."

Amen

TWO WORDS THAT CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR MARRIAGE

Two Words That Can Strengthen Your Marriage

We are still on words but this time we are not getting a detox but getting a boost. Words we must say to build our husbands and our marriages.

Thank you. The two most easiest words but most hardest to say. The two words which is actually only one word in some languages. Ngiyabonga, dankie (sounds better as "Baie dankie), tankie". We even teach them to our babies as part of their language development. These words can do so much good to our marriages if we use them regularly and in the right situations.

Poster taken from www.adamhamilton.org

How many times do you say "Thank you" to your husband? For instance, when he washes the dishes or just clears them? For putting the toilet seat down? For washing your car? For buying groceries, cooking supper sometimes, taking down the washing when you couldn’t? I can write a whole book mention the things you can thank him for.

I must admit, I learnt to say "Thank you"  even for the smallest gestures or doing what is naturally expected to be done by me from my husband. He thanks me for cleaning the house and even for saying goes something kind. The feeling I get when he thanks me has taught me to thank him as well. It is easy to get by and forget to be thankful so instead of keeping the "Thank you" to ourselves let us learn to say it to our husbands. When he does something he never does don't say something like: "Yoo what happened that you out of all people did this?" or "Did you wake up in a good mood today?" Just say "Thank you for...."

If you think you have nothing to thank him for, when did you last thank him for choosing you? For being a good father(even if you think he is not, remember the power of words)? For being kind to you? Beloved wife think of the positive things you can thank your husband for and go ahead and thank him. While you are at it, thank God as well because He by all means has an influence on the good things in your marriage.

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

The Words You Speak Becomes The House You Live In

You are probably looking forward to to reading today's topic looking forward to a different one from the words topic on words . I am sorry the great Doctor prescribed a repeat on this one because words have the greatest influence on life and the world we live in above anything else. Remember the earth and all that makes it beautiful were created just by God's spoken word and so now since we were created in His image He gave us the same power to create with our words.

What kind of home or marriage are you creating with your words? Are you continuously creating a warm, loving, kind, peaceful marriage and home or are you sometimes breaking the beautiful one and creating a hostile, unkind and cold marriage and home?

Proverbs 14:1 says: "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down."
Words are the main thing that build or tear down marriages, homes and people. It is not only what you do or don't do, because you might be doing all that is right like the Virtuous Woman of Proverbs 31 but if your tongue is not daily washed with the word of God but it daily or sometimes spews vile or shoots daggers at your husband you are actively destroying your marriage.

The poster or picture(which I found online) above says "The words you speak becomes the house you live in". If you continue to speak words that are unkind, condescending, judgemental, argumentative, whining, demeaning and disrespectful, your house will have a damaged roof, falling walls, unlockable doors through which all kinds of attacks can come through.

Remember the power of words. You might not be saying them to your husband but using negative words to describe him or your marriage to someone else. You are still doing the same destruction to your marriage. And what you say, becomes. What you speak you also act out then it unconsciouly shows in how you treat him.

Choose to rather speak the opposite about your husband or marriage and see the power God gave to you through your words. As it is written in  Romans 4:17 (last part of the verse): "...the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not."

Remember Your Vows

Words... they can build or tear down. Words is what we use in the beginning of the journey of our marriages. These words are called vows. Words are what we use to relate to each other as human beings as well as in prayer when we speak to God.

Do you remember you wedding vows? If you said the traditional ones you obviously remember them. If you write your own or spoke from your heart like I did, you also should remember them unless maybe you were extremely drunk in love and spoke out of euphoria.

Why am I referring you to your vows? It is to remind you and me the power words have over our marriages. You might have just gone to the magistrate office and signed as husband and wife or just got married traditionally, but I believe there was an exchange of words between you and your husband. You made positive and kind promises to each other. There were  no threats, no manipulative, criticising, whining or unkind words but beautiful words.

Whenever bad thoughts that bring bad words to your mouth come to your mind, remember the words you spoke kindly to your husband in the presence of your witnesses. Do not repeat the vows in anger and say: _"Ya  vele (yes of course), I said I will love you even in bad times just like now!!_  Remember your feelings and moods at the time you said them and choose to speak kindly to your husband.

Remember your vows, "Till death do us part", choose to speak words that give life and not words that kill or destroy. Keep your promises and keep your vows. Once again, if there is any animosity or any score to settle with your husband, take it to God. Not your mom, his mom or your friends. Otherwise you will be opening a door to other destructive words into your marriage. Speak to God. Spend time with Him. He will also teach you kind, powerful and positively effective words to speak to your husband and build your marriage.

A WOMAN OF PRAYER, A WOMAN OF WORSHIP AND POETRY FOR GOD

Since we celebrate Women in August here in South Africa, I  just decided now to honour women who make living for God worth it just by them living the word of God and sticking to the truth. Ever since I surrendered my life fully to God He keeps bringing people with excellent spirits and hearts after Him.

One of those ladies is Aus Anna Nkhoma, a woman of prayer and God's word. A big sister I found via Facebook though we fellowship at the same church but never met there before Facebook. Her Facebook profile has always been my most preferred because she never derails from the truth and she never focuses on self. In this same month in 2016, when hubby and I went into battle in prayer for our son, God told me to hook up with Aus Anna to go war with us. She never questioned nor doubted but put on her full armour and took all the necessary weapons and went ahead of us in battle together with her friend Aus Masesi Masilela (a woman who didn't  know me and I have never met because she lives overseas). 

I believe she(they) took the blow of August 2016 together with our Bishop for us that is why we were never emotionally or spiritually wounded. I know our second son knows her dearly. God bless her for the calls and voice notes of prayer and worship songs she composed and sent me daily when I was recovering ICU. 

Till this day whenever Aus Anna and I talk on  the phone we need to have uninterrupted 2 hours to chat because we have so much to talk about. We really owe each other a cup of coffee and about 5 hours minimum.  I actually believe our face-face chat would require a full day because we always have so much to talk about the on word of God, life and poetry.

Aus Anna neh...is one of those people who gave up the comfort of a high paying job to do something for the benefit of others. She is the modern version of Mother Theresa in my view. Together with other partners  she started a non-profit organisation that works with young people helping them with their studies to enable them to reach their potential in their studies, help them apply for bursaries towards their tertiary education . 

This gold hearted woman of God is a mother to many young people and a biological mom to one beautiful, intelligent, smart and beautiful young lady she named Kelello. I hope Kelello is aware of the wealth she has in her mother. 

One of the other things I love about Aus Anna is that she is never too busy, or lazy or shy to tell people about and lead them to Christ. In all her encounters none of these strangers she meets have ever refused to listen to her nor refuse to accept Christ. I have never told her this but I truly love and appreciate this woman of God. I pray for her to have a long and prosperous life so she can get to see the fruits of what she works for daily. I also pray that may God grant her heart's desires which we always talk about and the ones she has never told me about.

Aus- actually written as Ausi is a Sotho word for sister. We use the word in our culture to show respect and honour  to a lady who is older but not old.