The Words You Speak Becomes The House You Live In

You are probably looking forward to to reading today's topic looking forward to a different one from the words topic on words . I am sorry the great Doctor prescribed a repeat on this one because words have the greatest influence on life and the world we live in above anything else. Remember the earth and all that makes it beautiful were created just by God's spoken word and so now since we were created in His image He gave us the same power to create with our words.

What kind of home or marriage are you creating with your words? Are you continuously creating a warm, loving, kind, peaceful marriage and home or are you sometimes breaking the beautiful one and creating a hostile, unkind and cold marriage and home?

Proverbs 14:1 says: "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down."
Words are the main thing that build or tear down marriages, homes and people. It is not only what you do or don't do, because you might be doing all that is right like the Virtuous Woman of Proverbs 31 but if your tongue is not daily washed with the word of God but it daily or sometimes spews vile or shoots daggers at your husband you are actively destroying your marriage.

The poster or picture(which I found online) above says "The words you speak becomes the house you live in". If you continue to speak words that are unkind, condescending, judgemental, argumentative, whining, demeaning and disrespectful, your house will have a damaged roof, falling walls, unlockable doors through which all kinds of attacks can come through.

Remember the power of words. You might not be saying them to your husband but using negative words to describe him or your marriage to someone else. You are still doing the same destruction to your marriage. And what you say, becomes. What you speak you also act out then it unconsciouly shows in how you treat him.

Choose to rather speak the opposite about your husband or marriage and see the power God gave to you through your words. As it is written in  Romans 4:17 (last part of the verse): "...the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not."

Remember Your Vows

Words... they can build or tear down. Words is what we use in the beginning of the journey of our marriages. These words are called vows. Words are what we use to relate to each other as human beings as well as in prayer when we speak to God.

Do you remember you wedding vows? If you said the traditional ones you obviously remember them. If you write your own or spoke from your heart like I did, you also should remember them unless maybe you were extremely drunk in love and spoke out of euphoria.

Why am I referring you to your vows? It is to remind you and me the power words have over our marriages. You might have just gone to the magistrate office and signed as husband and wife or just got married traditionally, but I believe there was an exchange of words between you and your husband. You made positive and kind promises to each other. There were  no threats, no manipulative, criticising, whining or unkind words but beautiful words.

Whenever bad thoughts that bring bad words to your mouth come to your mind, remember the words you spoke kindly to your husband in the presence of your witnesses. Do not repeat the vows in anger and say: _"Ya  vele (yes of course), I said I will love you even in bad times just like now!!_  Remember your feelings and moods at the time you said them and choose to speak kindly to your husband.

Remember your vows, "Till death do us part", choose to speak words that give life and not words that kill or destroy. Keep your promises and keep your vows. Once again, if there is any animosity or any score to settle with your husband, take it to God. Not your mom, his mom or your friends. Otherwise you will be opening a door to other destructive words into your marriage. Speak to God. Spend time with Him. He will also teach you kind, powerful and positively effective words to speak to your husband and build your marriage.

A WOMAN OF PRAYER, A WOMAN OF WORSHIP AND POETRY FOR GOD

Since we celebrate Women in August here in South Africa, I  just decided now to honour women who make living for God worth it just by them living the word of God and sticking to the truth. Ever since I surrendered my life fully to God He keeps bringing people with excellent spirits and hearts after Him.

One of those ladies is Aus Anna Nkhoma, a woman of prayer and God's word. A big sister I found via Facebook though we fellowship at the same church but never met there before Facebook. Her Facebook profile has always been my most preferred because she never derails from the truth and she never focuses on self. In this same month in 2016, when hubby and I went into battle in prayer for our son, God told me to hook up with Aus Anna to go war with us. She never questioned nor doubted but put on her full armour and took all the necessary weapons and went ahead of us in battle together with her friend Aus Masesi Masilela (a woman who didn't  know me and I have never met because she lives overseas). 

I believe she(they) took the blow of August 2016 together with our Bishop for us that is why we were never emotionally or spiritually wounded. I know our second son knows her dearly. God bless her for the calls and voice notes of prayer and worship songs she composed and sent me daily when I was recovering ICU. 

Till this day whenever Aus Anna and I talk on  the phone we need to have uninterrupted 2 hours to chat because we have so much to talk about. We really owe each other a cup of coffee and about 5 hours minimum.  I actually believe our face-face chat would require a full day because we always have so much to talk about the on word of God, life and poetry.

Aus Anna neh...is one of those people who gave up the comfort of a high paying job to do something for the benefit of others. She is the modern version of Mother Theresa in my view. Together with other partners  she started a non-profit organisation that works with young people helping them with their studies to enable them to reach their potential in their studies, help them apply for bursaries towards their tertiary education . 

This gold hearted woman of God is a mother to many young people and a biological mom to one beautiful, intelligent, smart and beautiful young lady she named Kelello. I hope Kelello is aware of the wealth she has in her mother. 

One of the other things I love about Aus Anna is that she is never too busy, or lazy or shy to tell people about and lead them to Christ. In all her encounters none of these strangers she meets have ever refused to listen to her nor refuse to accept Christ. I have never told her this but I truly love and appreciate this woman of God. I pray for her to have a long and prosperous life so she can get to see the fruits of what she works for daily. I also pray that may God grant her heart's desires which we always talk about and the ones she has never told me about.

Aus- actually written as Ausi is a Sotho word for sister. We use the word in our culture to show respect and honour  to a lady who is older but not old.

Are You Building Up Or Tearing Down Your House With Your Words?

Do you know your words can build or tear down your marriage? You obviously know the scripture that says: "Death and life lies in the power of the tongue and those who love it, eat the fruits thereof. "

So dear wives one of the ways to Divorce-proof your marriage is by watching your words, avoiding certain words and speaking necessary, life-giving words to your husband. Avoid words that are full of complaints, blame, judgement and belittling.

Words or phrases like: "You never"; "You always"; "You never listen to me"; "You don't understand me"; "You don't care about me"; "You are selfish"; "You don't appreciate";_ et cetera. There are many of them which I believe come to your mind as you read these ones. By using "always/never" in your sentences you are telling him you don’t have faith in him that he can change. This will not only discourage him, but make him feel less motivated to try! You then wonder later why he does not like being home.

There are better ways to convey your message through a better choice of your words and your tone. For example, instead of blurting out: "You are always chatting on your phone."_ Rather say: “I would really like to talk to you now, it would be great if you could put your phone now”._ If it does become a reoccurring situation we could use words like “often” or “frequently” to soften the tone.

The one word you should never ever utter no matter what, is the notorious D word. Never ever say: "Let's get a divorce." You are not a teenager in a dating relationship in which you react by breaking up. You must never throw that word around just to try and manipulate your husband into doing what you want or as a threat just to hurt him. That is an evil way to get your way. Manipulation and threats are of Satan and divorce is his pleasure. Choose to be kind, calm and choose your words. Rather go to God afterwards and cry to Him.

Who knows? Maybe you might find out you are the one who needs to change. Maybe your husband's behaviour is due to something you do/say or don't do/say so only God can reveal that to you.

Speak words that  build your marriage not tear it down. Say words like "Thank you"; "I appreciate you"; "I appreciate when you"; "I love you"; "I respect you"; "I am sorry"; "You are the best." Say words you would love to hear being said to you. As the saying goes: _"What you put in is what you get out."_ And scripture says: "Give it shall be given to you."