WHEN I THINK OF THINGS I CANNOT GET

Tears fill up my eyes but are held back when I remember I am better off than someone else. Tears roll down my face when I think there was a time when I did not know better. Sometimes I let go and cry in my Father’s embrace as He dries my face. I pray for better. I pray for good things but then I remember someone else has it worse. Sniffles in my nose when I remember where I started. When I remember I cared less thinking life is just to be lived as I lived it. Now that I am here and good things have slipped my fingers I start crying out and asking God why? Why did I not know what I know now? Why did I go into unyoked relationships instead of having a relationship with God? Why did I not plan wisely, save money when there was enough? Why did I not share it and make a difference in the lives of the needy when I could? Why did I change jobs without listening to where God wants me to go? Why did I spend time gallivanting from one party to another when the real party is in the house of the Lord? Tears fill up my eyes and I feel like giving up sometimes but then I am reminded…. YOU HAVE FOUND GRACE, THAT’S MORE THAN YOU NEED.

You are probably reading this asking yourself is this a poem, a story to make you cry or a lamentation? This is reality of what most of us face on regular bases. I am writing this to all those who are still having it good. I am writing this to all of you who are beating themselves up for your mistakes.  I am barring myself to you for you to see my scars in order to protect you from getting them as well. For you who are crying daily, I’m showing you that these scars heal and with God’s hand on them they will disappear.

Life seems great when you can have whatever you want at the swipe of your card or counting of notes from your purse or wallet. It all feels like heaven when you can drive to any destination in your grand vehicle or even if you use public transport but you can afford just anything you like. I see how women can change their hair as and when they please and get their nails done and fake eyelashes to match their fake hair. Don’t get me wrong I am not hating because I was once one of those ladies who derived pleasure from looking good from my hair, nails, make up, clothes and shoes that match my bag. There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking good but there is everything wrong if it is to feel good, to attract attention to yourself and for some to make people see you are well able.   

I never really do it for attention but only because I love these fake things sometimes. But years ago I thought the right person would be attracted and believe me the “fake” ones are always attracted.

The world has made us believe possession of certain things adds to a person’s being. The world has made us believe belonging or fitting in makes a person complete. Hence we have these unhealthy relationships and marriages. What happens in the world is that when a person gets a job, their salary goes into the world and nothing remains for you. How? You ask. You enticed into credit. You get shopping accounts, you buy a car on credit, you buy a house on credit. But what other way can we get these things without credit?

I am not saying do not buy homes or cars if they really are a need. I am saying do you really need a credit card? Does it make sense to buy bread on your Woolworths account? Why do you drink Moët & Chandon or just alcohol and have the guts to swipe a gold card that has no cent of yours? Have you thought about “What If?” What if you lose your job? What if you become ill or disabled that you can no longer pay your past expensive lifestyle? What if then you really need a home or a car that is necessary but due to foolish spending on unnecessary brand names and not showing up at work due to drunkenness on “borrowed” money you then lost your job or you became ill or you got in an accident and wrote off the car you did not finish paying off and was not even insured? 

Mhhh…maybe you are a child of God (born again) and you don’t drink. Well you probably maxed your credit cards on all the best spiritual books out there, you do not wear any shoe that cost anything less than R700, you eat only good food (as Woolworths is assumed as the best), you go for regular spa treatments as your body is the temple of the Lord and your car if you have one gets a regular valet not a corner R40 carwash and you buy you house stuff nowhere else than @Home, Stuttafords, etc. If it’s not your house 40% of your salary goes to your rent hence the circulation of credit (paying credit with credit).

The point of writing this note is to open your eyes to what the world is locking us into. It makes us believe “To have” is “To live”. If it’s a gadget, there’s much better than the one that you have. We have all bought in to having a Cellphone that even if you fill in a form or apply for a job there’s a Cellphone number needed. That was the end of home telephone numbers. Then it was Blackberry and we can no longer survive without emails and instant messages. Now everyone wants an iPad (Lord help me for I am still good with writing with a pen).  How do you get all of these things on your salary? CREDIT!!!

Ok…point of this was not to write about credit but to fill you in on “WHEN I THINK OF THINGS I CANNOT GET“. Every one of us gets that feeling. Whether you are the highest paid or not even paid a cent. God told me: “THINK OF ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVE.” My friends, what do you have? Someone out there does not have shoes. Someone out there does not have anything to put in the dry mouth of a screaming hungry and sick baby. Someone is looking for newspapers to make his bed tonight. There’s a girl who is getting infected with HIV unwillingly but for the sake of bringing food for her siblings she has to prostitute her life.

“WHEN I THINK OF THINGS I CANNOT GET” like buying my own monthly toiletry, eating my favourite cereal, getting a regular income I am reminded of God’s GRACE. I am reminded of how FAVOURED I am. I am reminded of my loving FAMILY and faithful HUSBAND. I am reminded of my EDUCATION and ability to apply SENSE and KNOWLEDGE. I am reminded of my PEACEFUL, COMFORTABLE SLEEP, I am reminded of the place I can freely receive the Word of God and WORSHIP Him. I am reminded of my PURPOSE.

What is my purpose? To glorify God in the way I live, the way I dress, the way I relate to others, the way I serve others and the way I service my clients. To bring God into the lives of those who don’t know Him. How? By giving and sharing with them what I have; which is the LOVE OF GOD by loving them and helping them. By using my gifts and talents to minister to them that they may know Him. Even through the work I do I work as I work for God and those who see the wonder of the work of my hands I tell them “I AM JUST A VESSEL”

“WHEN I THINK OF THINGS I CANNOT GET” I am reminded that I have eyes that see, I can hear, I can smell, walk, use my hands and speak. Birds fly, chirp and sing. Bees pollinate flowers and make honey. Flowers bloom and make the world colorful. The sun shines during its appointed times. My friends, look at what you have and use it to glorify God not yourself. Share it with the needy and not keep to yourself. The best place to invest is in the lives of the needy. The world will enslave you through credit and desires to look better or have the best gadgets, car, hair, clothes. Wake up from self and give to God through giving to others. There will be no bad credit to your name but goodness and mercy shall follow you till eternity.

“Thy will be done as it is in heaven” that is what we pray and God’s will can only be done through us when we are willing. “You are blessed to be a blessing”. “You are blessed coming in and blessed going out”. All these blessings shall overtake you if you keep God’s commands.

 “WHEN I THINK OF THINGS I CANNOT GET” I praise God for I know He knows what is best for me to have. I praise God for I know I WILL NOT GET SICKNESS, LACK, POVERTY, INSECURITIES, GENERATIONAL CURSES because I have God as my Father, Provider, Healer, Protector and Redeemer.

“WHEN YOU THINK OF THINGS YOU CANNOT GET” ask yourself:  “WHAT DO YOU HAVE?”

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!