Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Are You Building Up Or Tearing Down Your House With Your Words?


Do you know your words can build or tear down your marriage? You obviously know the scripture that says: "Death and life lies in the power of the tongue and those who love it, eat the fruits thereof. "

So dear wives one of the ways to Divorce-proof your marriage is by watching your words, avoiding certain words and speaking necessary, life-giving words to your husband. Avoid words that are full of complaints, blame, judgement and belittling.

Words or phrases like: "You never"; "You always"; "You never listen to me"; "You don't understand me"; "You don't care about me"; "You are selfish"; "You don't appreciate";_ et cetera. There are many of them which I believe come to your mind as you read these ones. By using "always/never" in your sentences you are telling him you don’t have faith in him that he can change. This will not only discourage him, but make him feel less motivated to try! You then wonder later why he does not like being home.

There are better ways to convey your message through a better choice of your words and your tone. For example, instead of blurting out: "You are always chatting on your phone."_ Rather say: “I would really like to talk to you now, it would be great if you could put your phone now”._ If it does become a reoccurring situation we could use words like “often” or “frequently” to soften the tone.

The one word you should never ever utter no matter what, is the notorious word. Never ever say: "Let's get a divorce." You are not a teenager in a dating relationship in which you react by breaking up. You must never throw that word around just to try and manipulate your husband into doing what you want or as a threat just to hurt him. That is an evil way to get your way. Manipulation and threats are of Satan and divorce is his pleasure. Choose to be kind, calm and choose your words. Rather go to God afterwards and cry to Him.

Who knows? Maybe you might find out you are the one who needs to change. Maybe your husband's behaviour is due to something you do/say or don't do/say so only God can reveal that to you.

Speak words that  build your marriage not tear it down. Say words like "Thank you"; "I appreciate you"; "I appreciate when you"; "I love you"; "I respect you"; "I am sorry"; "You are the best." Say words you would love to hear being said to you. As the saying goes: _"What you put in is what you get out."_ And scripture says: "Give it shall be given to you."

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