I CANNOT STAND BEING ALONE (poetry)

I know the Lord is always with me and I am never really alone

But Lord, sometimes I cannot stand being alone.

I know Lord you worki on me better when I am by myself

But Lord this moulding and shaping process can really get to me sometimes

I cannot stand being alone and everyone is out there with someone

My Lord I know this is my moments with you

I treasure them because I am taking on your image and not of the world

But Lord a call from my man to be, an email from my Spiritual sister,

An sms from my friend, a Facebook comment on my wall……..

Can really make this waiting moments less lonely and more bearable.

I cannot stand being alone especially when I don’t feel like doing anything

Dear Lord I know I must use such times to study your word, listen to your messages

I know these are moments I must be soaking myself in your presence more

Praising you and worshipping you more

Praying in the Spirit and interceding for others

But Lord You know….that is how I live daily

Tonight, I just need to hear another human voice’s apart from mom’s or dad’s.

Tonight I want someone to care and ask me how I feel

I feel good because I am blessed but I feel sad because I miss people

I feel blessed because I have so much but I feel …….

Like I am not so interesting

Like I am being avoided

Like I am being punished

Like I am needy

Needy?

That’s the word of the world my Lord

I know I am not because I have all my needs met by you my Lord

Needy….

That’s the name men give to women when women give them attention

And all the above I feel is not real but from the liar in the world

Ok, back to my sadness

No Lord I am not really sad

I just feel mad

I know it’s a season that will pass

I know I will soon be with my man, my friends and everyone else

I will enjoy the “me-time” while it lasts

But Lord, I cannot stand being alone tonight

I AM WOMAN

I am a woman

I am who God says I am not what or who people expect me to be.

I am a woman whether I am real or plastic I am still woman.

I am a woman because when God created me He said I am a woman

Whether I can cook or rather not even know the difference between

Peel and grate, beat or mash, boil or fry

I am a woman because I feel like a woman

Whether I do not know the taste of alcohol or I am drunk all my life

I am a woman, whether I have five children by five different fathers

Or I have not yet received God’s favour to conceive even one

I am a real woman

Whether I fell pregnant before marriage or has been lucky despite

broken condoms, missed pills and one night stands

I am a woman.

Being a woman has nothing to do with what I can do with my hands,

Buy to make myself beautiful or uglier, implants or no implants

I am still a woman

Busty or breast-less due to nature or totally have lost them through cancer

I am still a woman

Whether I have saved myself for the right one

Or I am struggling to buy food for my children through my body

I am still a woman

My history has shaped me but is not part of me now

Whether I did it once or a hundred times with many unknowns

It has not removed the woman in me

I am who God says I am, I am a woman

I am in the process of knowing what I am worth

I am overcoming the heartbreaks in my life

I am getting over the absence of a father and

Embracing my Father who loves me just as I am

I am learning to be independent and not depend

On men’s incompetence to mean what they say

I am getting to understand that there is a man out there

Who will look into my eyes and call me his WOMAN

Despite what I did, what I have, despite my education or career.

I am still a woman

Do not judge me or measure how I am a woman

By what I am doing with my life now

Do not call me unreal by how I express myself or display my beauty

Do not think what I wear or wear less makes me a woman or not

I am a REAL WOMAN 

Call me stupid, lazy, uneducated, short-tempered, alcoholic

and all these degrading names

They won't take away me being a woman

What I know or do not know does not

Add or subtract me being a woman

Being saved, holy and sanctified is the grace I have received

it is not my intelligence, it might be by what I experienced

Personally or saw through other women's experiences

I am a woman because when God created me he said

I AM A WOMAN